I have a story to tell you...
Is been a while since I've written. Not for lack of ideas and things to share. But because I want to take some time to think about what and why I was sharing. And in the process I've been evaluating and reflecting... On the things I was taking in and putting out into the world..
One of the things I've decided is that the people who mean the most to me (and that I admire the most) are the one's who think enough of me and our friendship to share the things that are important to them, the things that scare them and make them feel vulnerable. And I feel so honored that they feel me special enough to do this. I've learned also that it not entirely to do with me. But also to do with their own confidence and belief that vulnerability doesn't make you weak. It actually makes you strong. Its a great indicator of self love and self awareness. Its what I have been striving to learn and what I want to teach my children. To be Brave and to be Kind (to themselves and to others). But I will come back to that.
First I want to say something that I don't think I have admitted (only to a selected few) but was probably very obvious... I am a stay at home mom. And I have been really since my oldest was about two. In attempt to throw people off the scent, I've thrown myself into several entrepreneurial and passion projects over the years... kids parties and event planning, subscription book of the month club, social media marketing for small businesses, fundraising and volunteering (a lot) at the kids preschool...
Even though I savored every moment of it. (well most moments) There was always a (social media) nagging... Always feeling like it wasn't enough to be just a mom. Although its exactly what I asked God for. I think more than anything I felt like other people wouldn't feel like it was enough. In this world of "Hustle Harder" and "Rise and Grind". I was afraid that the others wouldn't feel like I wasn't working hard enough. I was such a bully to myself. If I had those years to do over again.. I would have spent more time less concerned about what other people (probably weren't) were thinking and been kinder.. to myself.
And then I turned 40. And although the gremlins (as Brene' Brown likes to call them) were whispering.. "Now, what will people think." Something told me to just wait. To revel in and be grateful for where I was and what I already had been blessed with. My good friend Elise chided me to be still. And as job opportunities that I thought I wanted came my way, ones that were a good fit for the person I thought I was supposed to be... I said "no". And threw myself (kicking and screaming) in to just being me. Being honest with myself, accepting and laughing at and embracing my flaws, while earnestly working on the parts of myself that I wanted to improve, not for others but for me. Being Brave.
I know this story is getting long, but I have something else really important to share..
About a month or so ago, I made an appointment to visit a friend of a friends beautiful shop to chat with her (and her amazing mom) about how she turned her idea of owning a sewing studio into a reality. She was very honest and candid, and kind. I told her about my idea (she was the first besides my husband to hear of it) and at the end of the conversation to my surprise, she said she would possibly be moving out of her space (into a bigger space) and if that did happen, would I want to consider taking over her lease? My heart stopped. BIG MAGIC.
So for the last 6 weeks, I've been researching and meeting..
Me and Leigh (who is moving her shop to Ponce City Market) the current owner of the space..
and planning and plotting...
Mood Board for the space..
and visiting and emailing...
Janet Geddis, Owner of Avid Bookstores in Athens, GA
Maggie Pouncey at Stories Bookshop and Storytelling Lab in Brooklyn, NY
and praying, and praying.. And last week I met the landlord of the space and got the green light to move forward with the project that I had only allowed myself to dream and journal about.
There are many parts of this dream that have lined themselves up. And although we are able to put together monies from our savings and am in the process of securing a small business loan,
I will need the help of my friends and family and community to get me across the finish line.
I've convinced myself that people will want to be a part of building a space for children and families to read the books and have the space to be brave and kind. So I am asking your support. Your backing, your giving and your sharing.. Listen. even $10 moves us closer. So I hope you'll consider being a part of the THE BRAVE AND KIND tribe.
Whew!
Bunnie Hilliard
Life is not about finding yourself, Its about creating yourself -- George Bernard Shaw
